DRAGGING HER FEET

Moments like this keep us holding on to the ghost of our relationship

Relationships tend to be over before they actually end. I've seen it happy over and over again this year. All these couples dragging out their relationship past their expiration date, even though they lost their happiness a long time ago. I've just been trying to figure out why. I have a friend here who broke up with her boyfriend of three years in September. Not because she wanted to be single for university, but because it took her own space for her to realize that the relationship she was happy in had ended a year ago. Of course there were good times but when she talks about him now it's with an exhausted tone of voice and sad eyes. There was a lot of fighting, a lot of tears and a lot of heartbreak. 

And just last night, my best friend from home calls me and tells me that her boyfriend told her he's not sure whether their relationship is worth it or not. They have spent the last year fighting over really meaningless things, and he just doesn't see the point anymore. Though he was trying to give up, she told him they could work through it. 

I recommend a daily dose of sex and the city for the broken-hearted girl.

So why do people do this to themselves? This is the best I came up with:

There are so many great memories in the beginning of a relationship. The butterflies when you see each other, all the firsts, and falling in love. And by the time the initial magic fades, you have something just as great: you're comfortable, you're in love and you're best friends. You may find that you've almost morphed into one person. And as you grow and change, your relationship will too. 

But sometimes couples grow apart. And distant memories of the people you once were will keep you together. And though the world beyond the comforts of your relationship is a crazy and scary place, it's yours to discover. Though it's going to hurt more than anything ever has, and though there's nothing doctors can do about a broken heart, time will pass, the heart will heal and one day your smile will be real. So if your relationship can be salvaged, by all means pour your heart into it and save it. No regrets. If not, there's something extremely reassuring about being who you want to be, and doing whatever you want to do. Go out with friends, take up a hobby or dye your hair. Whatever you do, find the version of yourself that you lost or gave up on.